Julie Frost, writer

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I've had four short stories published in various venues.

"Affairs of Dragons" was published in Renard's Menagerie, which is sadly defunct. It's also available through Anthology Builder, which is where the link to the story will take you. And you can read the beginning of it here.

Summary: A spaceship crew is hired by a mother dragon to move her eggs from one planet to another. She's in the middle of an ugly divorce and an uglier clan war. The eggs aren't supposed to hatch...

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"Bitter Honey" was published in AfterburnSF and can be read online. It's also available through Anthology Builder here.

Summary: Desperate faeries raid a beehive for the honey they need to make it through a deadly winter. But at what cost to both faeries and bees?

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"Fortunes of Soldiers" was published by Cosmos magazine, with a fabulous illustration by Emrah Elmasli.

Summary: Two week's pay for one night's work, babysitting a spoiled asteroid heiress? Mercenary Jake O'Dell thinks all his jobs should be this easy. Until, of course, everything goes disastrously wrong.

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"Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf" was published by Darwin's Evolutions, with a fabulous illustration by Karl Nordman. It's available as a trade paperback for $9.99 (along with several other stories by several other awesome writers), or a high-quality .pdf download for $2.73.

Summary: Mark Newman loves being a werewolf. But when his wife finds out she's pregnant, she attempts to cure him against his will, in his sleep. Naturally, it goes horribly wrong--and it goes even wronger when she gets a well-meaning priest involved, poor fellow.

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You can read more of my fiction right here on this LJ. I have a "DVD extra" from my first novel that introduces a couple of characters to each other under less-than-optimal circumstances, and you can read that here. This is one of my very favorite scenes. And I try to post a snippet every Monday (subject to change), and those can be accessed via my snippets tag.

Most of this LJ is me whining about writing, with some Real Life and Fannish Squee thrown in on occasion. I have more information on my User Info page, or you can peruse my tags and see if anything in there looks interesting.

So. Come in, kick back, have fun. If you feel like commenting, please do.

I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to make me feel sorry for your serial killer. But DAMN.

Well done. *claps* That poor son of a bitch.

Also, I'm reading the fourth Cal Leandros book by Rob Thurman (robgoodfella), and she's done something here that you don't get to see in published fiction very often--she's got two first person POV characters alternating chapters.

Have I mentioned my first-person squee-age here? Maybe? I love first person. If I could get away with first person POV in all my fiction, I'd so use it, all the time.

In fact...

I just had a thought, about the not!Iron Man. Seeing as how the length makes it nearly unpublishable as-is, maybe I'll play with POV in that. Because I have alternating POV scenes in it, and I love love love the idea. I've done it before with success in fanfic...

Well. I really think I need to take a step back from the new!Ben&Janni story. Ben is exhausted and has stopped talking to me, which, who can blame him? I've got a couple of other projects that need to go from a back burner to the front one. Plus I need to start personalizing the Query Letter of Doom and sending it out to agents. Which I would like to start doing by Friday.

Living proof that people. Will buy. ANYTHING.

...at least it's sterilized reindeer poop? With glitter. Maybe Edward Cullen could buy some for Bella.

Have a real snippet, this week. I'm cutting it not for length, but subject matter.

( Ben is suicidal. Again. Please to be considering that a warning. )
Ben can't win, and neither can I. You know I love your comments...

And the Weekly Word Count.

Thanks to Word Wars yesterday afternoon, I managed to hit the goal for the week, although the daily goal went to hell in a handbasket due to me concentrating more on the agent hunt than getting new words into this cesspit of suck. My problem is (once again) that I do not have the chops to actually do justice to this storyline and I love Ben too much to give him an unhappy ending after all the poor puppy's been through. *massive, heavy sigh*

Anyway.

Last week's word count: 122,366
This week's word count: 124,184
Word count for the week: 1,818

Feh.

Stay tuned for a (rather lengthy) snippet.

Snorting mocha out one's nose is painful.

Several groups trying to re-ignite New England's faith are theologically conservative, such as the Southern Baptists, Presbyterian Church in America and the Conservative Baptists' Mission Northeast. They say a reason for the region's hollowed-out faith is a pervasive theology that departs from traditional Biblical interpretation on issues such as the divinity of Jesus, the exclusivity of Christianity as a path to salvation and homosexuality.

Via supergee at cranky_editors, who got it via Yahoo.

And this is why you can have my serial comma when you pry it from my cold, dead keyboard.

In other news, had a productive meeting with my Writing Buddy last night. I really need to get myself back on track vis Janni's part in this whole thing, and I need to flesh out the middle of the end as well. I think I have too much there there, and not enough there in other places, and I've not dealt with the wreckage of Ben's psyche as well as I need to, because there's stuff that came up in the prison that needs to come up again on the yacht. Seriously, I don't think you get over wanting to die as much as Ben wanted to die in a day just because your circumstances change. Even if it's a big change.

It's sitting at just over 123K right now. This is bad. This is very, very bad. I'm going to have to take a chainsaw to it...

I have apparently been doing that a lot lately.

But the handsome and talented neo_prodigy has taken one for the team vis a vis "New Moon." Chock full of spoilers for the movie, clearly, but now you don't have to go see it.

Okay, this fandomsecret right here:



Should not be as hilarious to me as it is. I'm so sorry, Brandon...

ETA: And there's me, getting pissy in the comments. I am so tired of entitled fanbrats. Hey, whiners: How about you write a multiple-hundreds-of-thousands-of-words, multi-book epic, before you decide that you can tell the pros how to do it better. Better yet, how about you just don't buy the series until it's done?

Son of ETA: And there are now spoilers in the comments on that thread at fandomsecrets, in case there are those of you out there avoiding such things.

Oh, no, my dialogue hasn't been influenced by The Joss, not at all.

Ben, trying assiduously to not be That Guy: "Then you tell me. Tell me outright this is a way of coping for you and that I'm not taking advantage like some kind of slimy...advantage-taker."

*headdesks repeatedly*

Also, I've had a very productive IM convo with the lovely and effulgent bigsciencybrain and I'm not at all sure I've got the writing chops to pull this off. That being said, The End of this isn't The End of Ben's story, because I'm already noodling the third one and there will be Repercussions, oh, yes, there will. Because you can't deconstruct a person as far as I've deconstructed him and have them be Whole at the end--or possibly, ever again.

I just love how this cop deals with his little intruder. Total professional. I just hope he's not allergic.



Direct link, just in case.

Found via graveyardshifty, which is an excellent resource for writers, BTW, although some of the stuff he posts about is disturbing and graphic. Still, can't recommend this blog highly enough. Also, he does a critique of "Castle" and the procedures therein every week.

It's Friday and I finally have actual new words in the novelthing.

Yeah, Ben just tried to commit suicide. Again. In his sleep, this time. The poor little sod. And now he's not sure he actually wants Janni to find him, because he thinks he might be broken beyond repair and doesn't want her to waste her energy trying to put him back together again (for the third time). Because there comes a point.

And this, I think, is why he ultimately takes off, after he gets home, with a Glock loaded with silver bullets.

In other news, the Harlequin cluster-foxtrot continues apace. The RWA, MWA, and SFWA have all reacted, well, unkindly, to what I'm referring to as HarHo and the predatory practice of pointing rejected authors in that direction in the rejection email. Part of my problem with this is that they're talking out of both sides of their mouths on the issue. On the one hand, they're telling the rejected writer, "Jump on in, the water's fine, you'll be 'published' by us and we'll watch your sales and yadda yadda yadda," making it seem as if they're going to be shelved with the Big Girls on bookstore shelves. And on the other, they're telling their established writers, "LOL, no, it's not our branding, no one will get you confused with those amateurs over there, pft."

Which, okay, it's not their branding now--but until the RWA said "Hey, waitaminute, vanity publishing means you're not actually a real publisher, money flows to the author, remember?" they were quite happy calling it "Harlequin Horizons" and would have continued blithely on if they'd not been called on their shenanigans.

If anything actually good comes out of this, I hope that people will figure out the difference between self-publishing and vanity publishing. Self-publishing can be a viable business model for a niche market, or even for getting a foot in the door (which, don't count on it, but it could happen; on Discworld a million-to-one shot is a sure thing, after all, and people get struck by lightning and win the lottery all the time). *waves at the handsome and talented Larry Correia* Vanity publishing is throwing your money down a rat-hole. And the rats are hungry.

Here, have a link salad, for the curious:
Smart Bitches
Scalzi
My post at Clairvoyant Wank
Fandom Wank (which has a great link roundup)
Lee Goldberg (who is actually making sense this time, go, him)
PubRants
Stacy Boyd wondering what all the fuss is about, and is dismayed that HarHo met with such disapprobation! BRB, LOLing 4ever.

And, I'm done. Good grief.

Congrats to the handsome and talented bradtorgerson for winning third place in the 3rd Quarter Writers of the Future contest. *blows party horn* UTAH REPRESENT, YO.

In other news, the agent hunt continues apace. I apparently need a synopsis now. Oh, god.

In other other news, I've tweaked the query yet again. I'd stop doing that if it wouldn't keep getting better every time I did it. Grawr.

Also, the shitstorm generated by Harlequin adding a vanity publishing arm to its stable continues apace, and I'm going to call my post about it at Clairvoyant Wank a rousing success.

• flipped a rejected story
  
• gone grocery shopping
  
• edited the last paragraph of the querything again into something even more awesome
  
• posted a thing at Clairvoyant Wank about Harlequin being delisted at RWA over their new vanity imprint
  
• posted a pissy comment at fandomsecrets

So. Why do I feel like I haven't done anything today?

*looks at list*

Well. Because I haven't, really. *headdesks repeatedly*

Scrapped the poker metaphor completely. There's no poker in the actual book, and Ben's a soldier, not a gambler. I'm much happier with the query than I was. This feels right...

And thus time for the Weekly Word Count.

Last week's wordcount: 120,500
This week's wordcount: 122,366
Word count for the week: 1,866

*wipes brow* Barely hit the goal.

HOWEVER. I have been hard at work on the Query Letter of Doom, which is sitting at 177 words right now, so, there's that. And that's after massive editing and paring down and squinting and tearing hair out over such tiny things as wondering if a target is painted on Ben's back as opposed to his chest, and whether he's a pawn in a chess match or a wild card in a poker game.

*snorts* Neither of which (the target or the game metaphor) have actually made it into the current version of the thing.

Monday Maunderings are going to be flocked--I'm going to post the query for y'all to tear into. Stay tuned.

joins the chess metaphor in the dustbin. At least, the metaphor in the first 'graph. The extended metaphor in the last 'graph stays. Because I say so, dammit.

Now I get the fun, fun, fun job of researching agents...

*opens spreadsheet, toddles off to Preditors and Editors*

What think ye, flist? Do you wish to see the Query Thing?

Also, I'm totally counting this as part of my weekly word count. Because I've worked my ass off on it this week.

the Query Letter of Doom continues apace.

I have completely dumped the chess metaphor. Rather than a "pawn," Ben is now a "wild card," which in theory gives him more agency (because words Mean Things and have Connotations). Rather than just getting shoved around a board, he's a spanner in the works, mucking things up. This is far more accurate in light of what actually happens in the book.

Of course, this is me we're talking about here, so the poker metaphor also gets beaten to a bloody and submissive pulp. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It may be too twee for an agent, or it may hit them just right. Hell, I don't know.

I'm to the point where I'm second-guessing myself. This will be quickly followed by me saying "Screw it, it is what it is, *I* like it, dammit, and if an agent doesn't like it, then that person is not the agent for me."

*wonders if I should post this for the Usual Suspects*

EDIT: I've sent it to the Query Shark; we'll see what she says. *wibbles*

Still smacking the query letter around. Or being smacked around by it. Hard to tell.

And my penchant for not only mixing metaphors, but beating them into the ground until they sob in abject submission, is rearing its head again.

This thing started out as a chess metaphor. Ben = pawn in a lethal chess match, yadda yadda.

But now, he's taken control and changed the game to poker. Instead of getting pushed around the board, he's dealing the cards and putting his chips on the table. Except they're not chips he's actually willing to lose.

And I like the idea of him taking control and changing the game. This is a fine and shiny thing. I'm just...not sure that that sort of meta belongs in a query letter. And it's too wordy anyway.

The problem with the original final 'graph is that it looks like he's still getting pushed around instead of pushing back. If my protag is that wimpy, then who cares about him? So, the original fails too.

And again I say: ARGH.

The lovely and effulgent sunnyd_lite (smooches her) did some yeoman's work with my query for the first novelthing tonight. I feel good about it. I'm going to let it percolate overnight, drop Da Boy off at a birthday party--and sit in B&N, drink coffee, and ponder it some more tomorrow. And then I'll meet with my Writing Buddy and see what he thinks. And B&N has free wifi, so I can bounce stuff off my online peeps. No other internet, though, unless it's email. Because that's an attention-sucker, and I'm one of those weirdos who actually is working in the coffee shop.

So. Yes. Work was done tonight. Ironically, the bulk of it was done after ten PM, which is when my brain usually decides to wake up and Do Stuff when the Hubby's gone.

I think, for the moment, that the not!Iron Man is going to be in limbo for a bit. The submission guidelines for places that publish such lengthy works are esoteric at best and a pain in the ass at worst (seriously: pick a consistent format for all you publishing people and stick with it. I am not a typesetter, and if you're not even going to pay me for the thing, then why make it such a convoluted process?). I am not so desperate to be published that I'm going to jump through innumerable and ridiculous-to-me hoops to do so--I'll put it up here with a tip jar first, dammit. Probably make more money that way, to be honest.

What I'm going to do instead is work my hiney off on the query for the novelthing, and mention in the letter that I have a novella sequel of sorts that resolves the issue of Alex and Megan's relationship (while whumping Alex, because, hey, why should Ben have all the fun, right?).

Anyway. This day can pretty much die in a fire too, as far as I'm concerned. Nothing overtly horrid has happened yet, but the day is young, right?

*eyes icon* I really should add some blood and bruises to that. Because, yes, that's Alex and Megan. EDIT: is done, and here's the original for your perusal:

This day can just die in a fire.

I need my Word CD in the worst way. Have I found it yet? Oh, hell no. Have I torn the house apart looking for it? Oh, hell yes.

Behold my adventures in formatting. Same story, different market. They want the Book Antiqua font. Which, WTF, I've never seen a market ask for that ever. And why in the hell, when I've got four different Book Antiqua fonts showing in my Font folder, am I only getting one (and an italicized one at that) to show up on my fonts list in OpenOffice? I THOUGHT OPENOFFICE WAS SUPPOSED TO NOT SUCK. Also, my .rtf formatting is ALL wonky, like, seriously, I don't even know how it got to looking like this. Some of it is double-spaced, some single, some in Times New Roman, some in Courier New. WHAT HAPPENED??? Some has a space between paragraphs.

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.

This is the Universe's way of telling me that this story is never ever going to be published EVER no matter how much I love it and think it's one of the best things I've ever written, isn't it?

Screw it. I'm going to bed. Maybe things will look better in the morning. I doubt it, but maybe.

And tomorrow I'm going to load Wordperfect. Because this is ridiculous.

For a plethora of reasons.

It is entirely possible that I've run out of paying markets for the not!Iron Man story, having received (yet another) rejection for that one today (a nice rejection, but a rejection nonetheless) and discovered that the next market I was going to ship it off to has closed to subs permanently. And then I spent an ungodly amount of time wrestling with OpenOffice over taking a header off the first page, only to look over the guidelines of the market I was VERY SPECIALLY FORMATTING it for (seriously, some of these formatting requirements are whackadoo. I wouldn't mind formatting it after they accepted the damned thing, more than happy to do that, but I wish these markets would pick a format and stick with it. Preferably Standard Manuscript Format) and discover that they don't pay an advance at all, just a royalty. Which... yeah. Is fine and good if they were a major publisher, but...they're not. Also, they want me to come up with my own marketing plan. Because I know all about that, right? Aren't they the professionals? Feh. I mean, I'd be more than happy to do a local tour with signings and readings at bookstores and libraries and possibly high schools, and all that fun stuff, but an actual "marketing plan" is a little beyond my skill set.

Hell, I even chaptered the thing for them. It may or may not be better with chapters, crap if I know at this point. I just want someone to buy it so people will get to read it. This is the second story I've about decided will go up here with a tip jar, Miss Manners and her attitude toward "beggary" notwithstanding. My situation is a bit different (although I am also appallingly bad with money, but I have an excellent money manager in the Hubby) as I'd be providing content for said tips, and I view that more as a street musician playing with an open instrument case on the ground in front of me for people to drop a bill or some coins in if they so desire.

So, there was that. There's also the fact that I don't think I got any new words in the new!Ben&Janni story today (I edited some old ones, which doesn't count). And then I was going to console myself with a Carl's Jr $6 guacamole-bacon burger...and the Carl's I went to was closed for remodeling. The next closest one was at least fifteen minutes away (depending on traffic and how I hit the lights), and television was starting in... twenty-five minutes. I did not get my burger-y goodness.

I nearly decided to drown my sorrows in Diet Dew and Southern Comfort after Da Boy went to bed, but decided that drinking alone without the excuse of "unleashing my creativity" (because the Muse has apparently Gone Walkabout again) was a bad idea. So, here I sit. Comfort-less.

Also, the engine light in the CruiserBerry is on and has been for about a week. This is Bad.

Just...screw this day, y'know? Sideways, with a rusty cactus.

I know, I know, cry moar, boo-frakking-hoo, there's people out there worse off than I am. It...is entirely possible that I am hormonal. Which, you know what? Screw that too. *hates uterus*

Also, I miss the Gray Cat.

At least TV was good tonight. OH GOD THE PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK'S MENTALIST. *kermitflail*

OH GOD I HATE WIDOW/ORPHAN CONTROL WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS AND WISH TO KILL IT WITH NUCLEAR WEAPONS. WHY WHY WHY CAN I NOT TURN THIS SHIT OFF AND HAVE IT ACTUALLY STICK???

I thought OpenOffice was supposed to NOT SUCK. Why can I not highlight an entire manuscript and turn that off??? WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

And, yes, I've tried copy/pasting the thing into a fresh doc. It saves the formatting, including the ever-cursed widow/orphan control. When I copy/paste as raw text, it strips my underlining and left-justifies my centered scene break thingies. This is BAD in a 121K-word document.

I can't win here, can I?

Maybe I'll load Wordperfect and see if I have better luck with that. Because this is driving me crazier than, probably, it should. Behold my OCD. ARGH.

Also, in case anyone missed it last night, the new issue of Darwin's Evolutions with my story in it is available for purchase or download. /pimp

Evolutions, Vol. 2, Issue 1, is now available for purchase through Lulu for the negligible sum of $9.99 for the trade paper version. Or, you can download it for $2.73.

In it is my story, "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" a story wherein a werewolf's wife attempts to cure him against his will, in his sleep. This... goes about as well as you'd expect. I personally find the story funny, but I have an odd sense of humor, so... yeah. I mean, this is me we're talking about, right? It also stars a good-guy priest, because that's how I roll.

And it's accompanied by the aforementioned gorgeous artwork, as are all the stories in the issue. Really, guys, you can't go wrong with this.

ETA: Oh, hey. I'm poking through the thing now, and just realized that Jaleta Clegg, whom I actually know through CONduit, has a story in there too. Cool!