babies_stole_my_dingo

I just printed out the Faerie Show Fic, my cover letter, and the labels for the envelopes. I'm going to ship it off to F&SF.

All the printing went off without a hitch.

This makes me vaguely suspicious.

It's probably just that the Printing Elves know that I'm going to have to dig money for postage out of my Change Elephant. Maybe they figure that this is enough humiliation for me.

And thus I bring you...

PICSPAM.

First, we went to the Layton Marsh Preserve, where we saw...eh, not much, actually. A Bullock's Oriole when we first went in, and then it was pretty high and dry, bird-wise. Or anything-wise. Saw some eggs that had hatched, one of which was pretty big. We surmised that it belonged to a Great Blue Heron.

Then we attempted to wander down to the Farmington Wetlands place, but couldn't find it. They're doing construction in the area, and so it's all messed up. However, we found a little pond thingy next to a landfill that looked promising, so we got out and walked around it.

We saw pelicans, avocets, a cormorant, turkey vultures, a great blue heron, barn swallows, seagulls, mallards, geese, and a garter snake. The avocets appeared to be nesting, and one of them got kind of agitated as we went by, flapping its wings and trying to draw us away. That was neat; we've only seen avocets being avocets before, not engaging in actual behavior. I'm still unsure as to whether it was being "I'm big and threatening" or "My wing's broke--chase me!"

The cormorant was weird too. He was hanging out with the pelicans. He'd go underwater (presumably to fish), and then pop up among the pelicans. The pelicans were all "That's a funny-looking kid," which, if you've seen their kids? Is pretty comical.

( Fourteen under the cut... )

In other news, I'm going to call the Faerie Show Fic done and start shipping it around. Yayness.

Faerie Show Fic, Mark III, has begun. I've swapped it into first person. And discovered something interesting along the way.

My protagonist shows faeries. This is her life, her hobby, what she enjoys doing most of all in the world.

And therefore, a lot of the stuff that she tells us about the Faerie Show Scene is in present tense. Because this is ongoing stuff. This is "how we do things."

And I'm hoping it doesn't look like random tense swaps in the middle of the story. Susan Conant does this to good effect (her protagonist, Holly Winter, shows dogs in much the same way Emily shows faeries), but I'm not sure I can get away with it.

I guess I'll put it away, go to bed, and look at it again in the morning. However, as it sits right now? I like it better in first person. It's tighter, somehow, and more personal. This is always a good thing.

into some semblance of what passes for "obedience" around here.

And now I have to decide if I want to swap the whole thing into first person.

*headdesks*

I'm a glutton for punishment, aren't I?

In other news, I just visited my local zoo's reciprocity list, and discovered that it now sucks like a Hoover. Instead of a nice alphabetical list you can consult at a glance, it's got a map of the US, and you have to click on each individual state to get to the zoos in that state...and there's still no linkage to those zoos.

You know, instead of making a TOY like that, they should have just gone through the list and given us links. Do the people who design these things ever actually use them? I'm sure someone had a blast coding the page, but it's not exactly user-friendly and it's now a pain in the ass.

ARGH.

ETA: I shot off an email to them about this. Because, really.

*pwns Faerie Show fic*

New ending is ended. I like it better. Not everything is sunshine and roses, but we have babies and a girl who has learned her lesson.

Now I have to decide if I want to rewrite it in first person or not...

I also need to go back through and make sure I changed all my genders and names properly. Continuity is my friend. And I have to foreshadow the dragonfly-winged faeries being a little more...hm, aggressive than you might expect. I'm not sure the subtleties of feeding the dragonfly-winged faeries sausage and the butterfly-winged ones strawberries will make a reader sit up and say "Huh, those ones are carnivorous and those other ones are vegetarians."

And saw "The Hulk" with "Speed Racer."

Non-spoilery reviews:
"The Hulk" was...good. Not excellent, but good. Somehow, they managed to suck all the fun out of it. I counted one funny line--and you get that in the trailer. It just lacked "Iron Man's" sarcasm and wit. The characters are quite earnest and mostly fundamentally decent, and we got a couple of iconic moments, but this read more like a prequel and a character-set-up than a standalone. And there's nothing wrong with that--I loved the ending; that was fabulous. I gave it 2 3/4 stars out of four. Not bad enough to be 2 1/2, not good enough to be 3.

"Speed Racer," on the other hand...

Boy, this is a bad movie. Eye-searingly, cringingly bad. I think everyone here knows I'm a NASCAR fan, right? And this movie commits the deadly sin of being a boring racing movie. Seriously, the pontificating in this thing would make a theological debate between Joe Lieberman and Ben Stein look interesting. (Yes, I know they're both Jewish. That's my point.) They take a point, beat it into the ground, bury it ten feet, and keep going. OMG. "I love you. I really really love you. No, really. Really really. And did I mention you make me proud? You make me so proud. So, so proud. Prouder than proud. I love you and I'm proud of you. Really, so much." I kept waiting for their lips to keep moving after they got done talking; the dialogue was like something out of a badly-dubbed movie.

Which, if that's the effect they were going for, more power to them, but this was painful to watch, folks. Classic instance of show, don't tell. They kept telling us that these are decent people whom we should be rooting for, but they never really showed us why.

And you guys know me. I'm willing to suspend my disbelief and dive into a world, no questions asked, I'm along for the ride. Smoke Monster on LOST? I'm there. Alien that farts helium on "Farscape"? Count me in. Sound in space in "Star Wars"? Eh, why not, at least for the original trilogy. This? Didn't pull me in. At all. Michael Medved gave it a star and a half. I think he was generous.

In other news, I've solved my Faerie Show Fic problem. I know how the new one ends. Now all I have to do is write it. *evil laughter*

In other other news, I'm looking at laptop bags, now that I saw that one on Ebags. We're going out later today to put actual eyeballs on some. If I can find one for under $31 with the same features, I'll buy it locally.

We visited the local zoo today and bought a membership. Considering how much we travel for the express purpose of going to zoos, this will come in handy, as it gets us in for either free or discounted to over 120 other zoos nationwide. I got some shiny shiny pix as well, and there's a new owl, a Long-Eared Owl, which I've never actually seen before. *dances*

In writing news, I'm thinking about redoing the Faerie Show fic in first person. Because I don't have enough revisions to do with the new ending. *beats Antubis* Not that I've actually, you know, finished the new ending or anything, or given the reader enough information at the start and throughout to let them know what might happen...

Also, I really want this laptop bag.

RIP, Tim Russert. You were, in general, fair, even with people with whom you disagreed, and you will be missed. :(

First of all, a big THANK YOU to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday today. *smooches you all* For anyone wondering, I turned 21 again today. *nods firmly* Really.

All we did special today was go out to dinner at Red Robin, where I ate ridiculous amounts of fried shrimp, steak fries, and fried zucchini. Seeing a pattern there? However, we have plans to go see "The Hulk" this weekend, and we hope it's playing at the drive-in with "Iron Man," because that would be awesome. Or we might go see "The Happening," because it's M. Night and we like him in spite of the last train wreck. Hey, M. Night? You're awesome, but you're not Neil Gaiman. Don't try.

We also went grocery shopping at The Evil Mart of Walls. Which had the original X-Men movie in their $5 bin. And a double disc Will Smith set that had "I, Robot" and "Independence Day" for $9. Alan Tudyk is in the first, and Adam Baldwin is in the second. What's not to love? Also, Will rocks like a big rocking thing.

Borders has "MirrorMask" for $8 this week, and the Seattle's Best Coffee places that they have in Borders has a coffee milkshake to die for. OMG YUM. So, I have new/old SF/F on DVD.

And I have comicses. New Angel: After the Fall, and Chuck #1 (of 6), which starts us out on Gilligan's Island, Chuck style. *dies of funny*

In other news, my body this morning said "Happy birthday! Here's your period and some cramps! Whee!" I growled and took ibuprofen. HAH.

And now I suppose you all are wondering why I hate my brain. Well, I was discussing with the Hubby the fact that several people have mentioned that the ending of the Faerie Show fic is "too easy," for one reason or another. So, I had a Bunny for a new ending.

And I don't know whether to go or

What if, rather than reciprocating Saffron's feelings, Amethyst does what dragonfly-winged faeries naturally do to butterfly-winged faeries...and eats her? This might require tweaking the beginning a little so that Sheila brings two faeries instead of one, so the unveiling might be a little more shocking when she gets back to her setup.

So, yeah. I hate my brain. Why does it always go to a dark place when I'm trying to be light and funny? Now, I realize that I can play this for laughs, and I probably will, but still. Sheesh.

So, the comments I'm getting on the Faerie Show fic tell me that it kind of sucks like a Hoover. The idea is good; the execution is somewhat...problematic. I've spent most of today, off and on, beating it into some semblance of shape. I hope my new Writing Buddy doesn't look at it and go "Man, what the hell have I gotten myself into? This is terrible." Argh.

Also, no one hates the last 'graph but me.

And I realized that I use the scene with the Fae for a big ol' block of exposition. And I could probably handle that better. The problem is that I like that scene, and I also use it for the reveal of what one of the characters has hidden away until "the proper moment." I know, I know, they say "Kill your darlings," but I don't wanna. *stomps foot*

And I still have no idea what I'm going to do with the A&tS fic to make my protagonist actually, you know, protag. If he blows the museum up, then Merry won't much like him anymore, so that kills that next-to-last scene. I may have him steal something so he can examine it out from under prying eyes...and then get caught. This would be better than destruction, I think.

And I still don't have the Next Thing. None of the WIPs are talking to me, and the Bunnies are staying determinedly in the Hutch.

*cries*

As you know, Bob, I stuck an END at the bottom of the Faerie Show fic yesterday. I went over it today at CONduit. I figured out how to spell "faerie" consistently, using find and replace to fix the times I used "faery" instead. *facepalm* I also found a piece of a scene which was basically a repeat of a previous scene, so I had to fix that as well. I did some tweaking here and there on other stuff too.

The good news is, I still like it.

The bad news is, it's got the lamest last line ever. Seriously, guys, this is capital-B Bad. I'm going to have to come up with something a whole lot better than this if I want to send it to Writers of the Future.

Also, a title would be good. "Showing Faeries for Fun and Profit"? Eh, I don't know. There's precious little profit being made by my protags here, and this is normal, as those who show dogs and cats know full well. At the same time, hey, catchy title.

Is it twee? You bet your ass it is. Am I ashamed of myself? Not a bit. I own the twee-ness here. This is not meant to be anything other than what it is, and twee is a big fat part of it. Light and fluffy, hopefully somewhat humorous, and hopefully something that will leave my readers with a smile on their faces. Fortunately, it's way over wordcount for Clarkesworld, so nihilistic_kid won't have it inflicted upon him. However, it's different enough that I think another editor might look twice at it.

In other news, I may poke the A&tS fic a bit, just to see what comes out. This will, naturally, entail reading the damb thing again and incorporating whatever changes that Bob suggested that I agree with. And figuring out an emotional catharsis for the character will be a chore. Remember what I've said about being emotionally stunted? Yeah, that. *grumbles*

Also, I have to decide what's "next" on my writing list. I opened the Plot Bunny Hutch yesterday to see what hopped out, and they all stubbornly stayed put. Blah.

AND. Starting tomorrow: I will take ONE HOUR out of each day, minimize all my windows but the WordPerfect one, and WRITE, dammit. And I expect you all to beat me if I don't. I'm going to set my kitchen timer and tell Da Boy and the Hubby to leave me be, and everything, possibly move to another room. Because, seriously, I shouldn't take over two months to write something like this, y'all. Five hundred words a day, and I could have had it banged out in a week and a half. I'm feeling rather monumentally stoopid right now.

I'm at CONduit, having a wonderful time. I've been to a bunch of panels, taken copious notes, and gotten into an argument with the Guest of Honor regarding fanfiction. There's a very handsome lad (I say "lad"--he's probably in his early twenties, which is "lad" enough for me) walking around in a Final Fantasy getup, so I even have eye candy.

Bob Defendi gave me the A&tS story back, with very little in the way of red marks. He says the only thing he can find wrong with it is that it doesn't really have a big emotional catharsis in the third act. I might be able to salvage it, knowing that.

A bunch of us writers got together last night outside the bar and had a lively discussion about writing, traveling, cons, and stuff. I got home around 1am.

I also got a little over 500 words written yesterday, sending the Faerie Show Fic galloping toward a conclusion. Today, I stuck an END at the bottom of it. Not only that, but I got to do some more world-building, and had a thought today that required me to go back and make some gleefully-incorporated changes. Right now, at this very moment, I love my brain. My brain is a fine and shiny thing, and I will hug it and squeeze it and call it "George."

Now comes the edit. And figuring out what I'm going to work on next.

I got 1100 words scribbled on the plane on my way back. I moved my plot forward, threw up a couple more subtle clues, and did some world-building. So now it's sitting at a little over 4500 words total. And it's nearly done.

Yay?

*adjusts pimp hat*

The handsome and talented Paul Genesse had a book launch party on Saturday to celebrate the release of his first novel, The Golden Cord. I've read two of Paul's short stories (in the anthologies "Furry Fantastic" and "Fellowship Fantastic") and can testify that he can write. He's going to be in Arizona and Vegas doing book-type stuff for the next week or so.

Also, the handsome and talented kenrand's long-awaited western dark-fantasy novel, Pax Dakota, is now available. Buy it, or ask your local library to get it in?

In writing news, I did my 250 words last night before bed. Let's see if I can double that today. Tripling it would bring me up to around 4000 words overall. Considering I know the next two things I want to have happen, I could probably achieve that...

But I've done 622 words on the Faerie Show fic, bringing my count up to 3130. I've moved the plot forward again and thrown up a couple more red herrings--or, actually, set up the red herrings. I haven't put them in yet, but I know what they are and where they go.

So, that accomplishes my writing goal for the day, and now I can go to bed with a clear conscience.

...to Yellowstone next week. What with school still being in session, and it being the middle of the week, we figured we might just about have the park to ourselves. We called a friend of ours, and he's going to caravan up with us.

And then I checked the forecast.

ICK, y'all.

However. If there's snow on the ground, then that'll make for some unusual pictures for me--I don't go out in the snow, and thus snowy pix are a rarity for me. If I can get shots of the wolves in the snow? That would be awesome. This could be some hard-core nature photography, and if the pix are any good, maybe I could actually sell them.

OTOH, Moab's weather looks pretty peachy, and we've talked about going to Arches and Canyonlands before instead of jeeping. So, that might be an alternative, if we all decide the weather is too sucky to enjoy Yellowstone.

In other news, I've scribbled nearly 200 words on the Faerie Show fic and moved my plot forward microscopically. I want to finish this one in the next two weeks. Thwap me if I don't give you daily updates.

I just realized that the Faerie Show fic, rather than being the screwball comedy I wanted, is actually a mystery.

I've never written one of those before.

AUGH.

However, I read plenty of them, so I should be able to muddle through. Right? I have suspects, and I even know whodunit and (more importantly) whydunit. And I just thought of someone else, which tied in nicely with having one of my protag's relatives as a Faerie Rights Activist.

I can do this. *cracks knuckles*

Since I posted my little writing rant, I've written 560 words in the Faerie Show fic. I've moved my (so-called) plot forward (microscopically) and gotten some (ugly-ass) exposition out of the way.

I'm noticing a pattern here. I'll post a rant about how I'm not getting any writing done, and then I'll actually...get some writing done. It's like a motivator or something. I berate the Muses in public, and then they go "We'll show you!"

Hey, man. Whatever it takes.

It's time for my Inner Sadistic Bitch to crawl back into her hole. I think the Giant Bugs story is as done as I'm going to make it. I'll run through it one more time and then send it off to the wilds of Writers of the Future. Fly, be free, little story!

And now I must coax forth my Inner Slapstick Comedienne. Because the Faerie Show Fic is screwball comedy all the way, and I need to work on it now. Finishing it before the month is out would be peachy

In other news, we've decided to keep Da Boy (*snerk*), so we gave him a real bed today. This entailed yanking the bed the Hubby built, lo, many years ago, out of the spare bedroom and into Da Boy's room. Of course, that meant taking it apart, because the thing is frelling HUGE. And then we had to completely rearrange Da Boy's room, because that bed only goes against the wall one way, and of course every stick of furniture he had was against that wall.

Yeah, my back is going to be unhappy tomorrow. In fact, it's not real happy right now. *mainlines naproxen*

We're also making Moab Jeep Safari plans. The weather looks...cooperative. And then next month, if the Hubby gets the first layer of shifts he's picked out, he'll have a week off and we can go to San Diego and visit the toucan place.

I have a great set-up for a screwball comedy.

And no plot.

Not only that, but one of the classic elements of a screwball comedy is romance, right? My two main characters (so far) are a gray-haired grandmother and a (much younger) former football player. Yeah, I suck at romance.

And I've gotten stalled several times. Once was on description, which, as you may or may not know, I also suck at. I'm picturing my former football player as this enormous African-American guy, because breaking stereotypes is fun. But this is a faerie show. Are we in the United States? I'm picturing a "yes" with that, but it might be jarring to describe him as "African-American." Augh.

I finally solved that problem, only to realize that I'm completely stuck on what those little plastic critter totes that you see in pet stores, generally holding some sort of tarantula, are called. Off to Petsmart's website I hied for that info. To find out that they're called, aptly enough, "critter totes."

And I still have no plot. I have two hundred and forty-three words, and no plot.

The lovely and effulgent irfikos has suggested a faerie-napping. What with the picketers and the competitive nature of the show, this is not out of the question--I was already going to have my picketers do one of those "let's release the poor exploited faeries" things. In the confusion, one (or more) could go unaccounted for. I'm not sure this works for the A plot, but it can definitely be one element.

Okay. I no longer think I suck (as much). I have stuff percolating. Instead of a human romance, I could do a faerie one, where the kidnapped faeries find comfort in one another. Of course, they'll be completely incompatible breeds...

And now I not only have to come up with breed standards, but I have to figure out how they reproduce. Do they give live birth? How many? Lay eggs? What's the gestation period?

AUGH. Why do I do this to myself???

The internets is failing to entertain me. My gmail inbox remains stubbornly empty. The Hubby is gone, Da Boy in bed. If this keeps up, I may have to actually *gasp* write something.

Which, I've done a new paragraph in my Faerie Show Fic. I broke a hundred words! Go, me? Now, if only I had a plot...