848 N. Rainbow Blvd. #855
Las Vegas, NV 89107
Dear Freebieshipping.com, or Jennifer, or whoever the hell you are:
Spamming me multiple times a day with invitations to "hook up" is NOT a way to get me to visit your website, sign up for whatever service you're offering, or be remotely interested in what you think you want to do for me. I am (a) straight, and (b) happily married. Therefore, I have no desire to hook up with anyone named "Jennifer," and even if I did, I wouldn't do it via a vastly annoying spam email in my inbox.
I have clicked multiple times on the "take me off your mailing list" button offered via your website. This apparently has not worked. This is my written notice to you that if you do not take the email address firstname.lastname@example.org off your spam list, I will be contacting the FTC forthwith. You have until the 26th of May to comply.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
My state of mind is not helped today by the fact that I'm doing a detox/weight loss thing, which means that caffeine is verboten. Thus, I am a cranky bitch. But I swear, if these people don't stop emailing me, I will reach through the internet and strangle them.