It really is. I don't suppose that writing a descent into madness is ever a pleasant exercise, but the things I'm coming up with in order drive him further along that path are...disturbing me.
I'm doing a bit of research on Post-Traumatic Stress to figure out how I'm going to work this. One of the things that jumped out at me was this line:
People who suffer from PTSD also have extreme emotional or physical reactions such as chills, heart palpitations, or panic when faced with reminders of the event.
That's "triggers," and I knew that. And what's scary about this is that my character is literally surrounded by reminders of the traumatic event and is physically incapable of escaping them. This is the darkest thing I've ever written, worse even than the DamnFic, which at least had a light at the end of the tunnel. This one? Um. Not so much.
Yeah, I'm going to need to write something with happy fluffy bunnies or something after I finish this one.
In other news, either my flist is brilliant, or I made the movie quote meme too easy on y'all. Only two left, and the first one was made in 1986, is really obscure, and is universally considered to be a bad movie. I don't care; I love it anyway. The other one is probably not one that my flist would expect to be on my list of favorite movies, because, dude.
Yeah, remember what I said about my brain being a dark and scary place? It really is, sometimes.