November 22nd, 2006

wolf eyes

The gargoyle story...

...has a "the end" at the bottom of it.

Now, if only it had a title at the top.

It came to 3187 words, surprising me. Not only that...but I may have to expand it, because I'm not really sure I've justified the timeline in the thing at all.

But, hey. The hard part is done. Go, me!
wolf eyes

More on the gargoyle story...

I have title-age! I'm calling it "Guardians of Public Safety." *snerk*

I ran it by the Hubby, who likes the overall concept. However, he says that the emotions for the first part need to be ramped up quite a bit, because the death that's the whole catalyst for the story just feels "meh."

Seeing as how I'm emotionally stunted myself, I may have a hard time with this. I mean, yes, I cry at commercials, but that's because I'm shallow, not because I have any depth of emotion. Therefore, I need to watch myself so that angst doesn't turn into wangst.

Check.

He also said my timeline doesn't work out. Which, yeah, I already kind of knew that. One week, not enough to clear out a neighborhood, even with people getting torn apart overnight and chased by creatures that shouldn't exist. So I need to expand my timeline without boring my audience.

Check.

He said it was a "good first draft." After I've sweat blood over it. Oh my goodness, am I ever glad that I don't take this sort of thing personally. If I was fanbrattish...well, I wouldn't ever ask for concrit, and certainly not from him, would I?

As it is? Still stings a bit. But at least I know a couple of things I need to work on.

He also had an excellent suggestion re: The stones crying out for justice. And, reading it, I realized I wanted to do something with graffiti that I didn't.

Check, and check. *cracks knuckles*