Remember the CatsCurious Fairy Tale Contest? I've been thinking about doing an entry for that, especially since one of the panels at LTUE gave me fodder for doing so.
And then I read The Tinder Box, by Hans Christian Anderson. And, boy, I almost typed "Angerson" there, and how Freudian is that? Because, dude had issues, man. I remember liking this one as a kid, but now? Not so much.
Seriously, the first thing the protagonist in this story does is whack off a witch's head with a sword, which just seems harsh, since all she asked him to do was what he agreed to in the first place. And then the last thing he does is kill the judges, councillors, and the king and queen by "toss[ing] them many feet high in the air, so that they fell down and were dashed to pieces." And the princess is apparently not disturbed at all by this and goes off and marries this guy, and they live happily ever after. Even though he's got obvious anger issues and scary scary dogs. Pit bulls ain't got nothin' on these critters.
Yeah, I got nothin' funny for this one, folks. Creepy, maybe. Not funny. And this is a story for kids? Daaaaammmmn.