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June 14th, 2008

11:47 am
So, we went to the movies last night...

And saw "The Hulk" with "Speed Racer."

Non-spoilery reviews:
"The Hulk" was...good. Not excellent, but good. Somehow, they managed to suck all the fun out of it. I counted one funny line--and you get that in the trailer. It just lacked "Iron Man's" sarcasm and wit. The characters are quite earnest and mostly fundamentally decent, and we got a couple of iconic moments, but this read more like a prequel and a character-set-up than a standalone. And there's nothing wrong with that--I loved the ending; that was fabulous. I gave it 2 3/4 stars out of four. Not bad enough to be 2 1/2, not good enough to be 3.

"Speed Racer," on the other hand...

Boy, this is a bad movie. Eye-searingly, cringingly bad. I think everyone here knows I'm a NASCAR fan, right? And this movie commits the deadly sin of being a boring racing movie. Seriously, the pontificating in this thing would make a theological debate between Joe Lieberman and Ben Stein look interesting. (Yes, I know they're both Jewish. That's my point.) They take a point, beat it into the ground, bury it ten feet, and keep going. OMG. "I love you. I really really love you. No, really. Really really. And did I mention you make me proud? You make me so proud. So, so proud. Prouder than proud. I love you and I'm proud of you. Really, so much." I kept waiting for their lips to keep moving after they got done talking; the dialogue was like something out of a badly-dubbed movie.

Which, if that's the effect they were going for, more power to them, but this was painful to watch, folks. Classic instance of show, don't tell. They kept telling us that these are decent people whom we should be rooting for, but they never really showed us why.

And you guys know me. I'm willing to suspend my disbelief and dive into a world, no questions asked, I'm along for the ride. Smoke Monster on LOST? I'm there. Alien that farts helium on "Farscape"? Count me in. Sound in space in "Star Wars"? Eh, why not, at least for the original trilogy. This? Didn't pull me in. At all. Michael Medved gave it a star and a half. I think he was generous.

In other news, I've solved my Faerie Show Fic problem. I know how the new one ends. Now all I have to do is write it. *evil laughter*

In other other news, I'm looking at laptop bags, now that I saw that one on Ebags. We're going out later today to put actual eyeballs on some. If I can find one for under $31 with the same features, I'll buy it locally.