?

Log in

No account? Create an account

August 27th, 2008

07:53 pm
AUGH.

I so want to learn to vid. WHY has no one done an Iron Man "Carry On Wayward Son" vid? Why why why???

Someone please tell me that we'll start seeing LOTS of them when the DVD comes out...

Seriously. "Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season" -- with the footage from that deleted scene. OMG, that would be perfect.

*eyes icon* I know, Tony. I know.

11:57 pm
Robert, sweetie...

You know I love you, right? Your mere presence makes a bad movie bearable. And I realize that you can be a little more picky these days than perhaps in the past, and you're really getting some good ones lately. Yay for that. "Iron Man" is awesome. "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" is genius. You stole every single scene in "Tropic Thunder" (although I could have done with about 60% less f-bombs, thanks). "Zodiac" is at least interesting, and I love the firing range scene in that. I'm betting some awards, or at least nominations, for "The Soloist." Looking forward a tremendous amount to "Sherlock Holmes," and why don't you see if they can tap Val for Watson, mmmkay?

But, hon, some of your previous roles? Really, I get what you were trying to achieve in "The Singing Detective," but it just...didn't work. Ditto "A Scanner Darkly," which didn't actually get interesting until the last fifteen minutes, after your character had left the movie. Gah.

(Okay, there be spoilers next. But it's a ten-year-old movie, guys. And, um, it's...not that good.)

"US Marshals"? Someone needs to smack the writers with a Glock manual and the "Evil Overlord list," which is equally applicable for movie villains. I point, especially, at #7. Monologuing BAD. Very very bad. JUST SHOOT HIM. Jeepers. Also, the whole "cutting him loose so it looks like he was trying to escape"? Lame, dude. Any fifth-grader would have seen right through that.

And then you just...what, die? That quickly? Hell, Noah took longer and he was shot in a worse place. It's like the writers said "Shit, we're over two hours into this thing, better wrap it up," and threw together something they thought would work. Well, it didn't. Like, at all. Not narratively, and not with the gun you were using. I do more research for one line than these writers apparently did for their pivotal scene.

It was worth the $5 I paid for it (Walmart bargain bin FTW!), because, hey, it's you and you have pretty arms in the swamp scene. Seriously, wear short sleeves more often.

Oh, and an aside to Sam: Do you ever chase anyone who's actually guilty? Just wondering.

I need to watch "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" again, just for the sheer beauty of all the tropes that get absolutely skewered.