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September 27th, 2008

11:31 am

Here's where the story starts falling apart, and points up exactly why I should be outlining. Because practical considerations are getting in the way of plot.

1. They've got a body in the basement right now. They haven't called the police or the coroner or...anyone. Not!Harry killed the guy (accidentally) when he wolfed out the first time. Now, this is the fourth death in this house in less than 24 hours. If the story took place in a third-world country, not!Tony might be able to get away with this without any hard questions. But we're in Beverly Hills, so...not so much.

Of course...one of actual!Perry's jobs in KKBB is to "insulate his client from corpses." So I might be able to do something with this. Hell, maybe they'll just feed the dead guy to his demon bunnies. But then there's family issues to deal with, because if he doesn't have at least an ex-wife or a brother or something, that's just a little too convenient. Most people have someone.

2. My villain's motivations for offing not!Tony are looking...really iffy. I mean, okay, right now he's got a good reason to want not!Tony good and dead, but he just didn't before. I need to rectify this. The villain is impulsive, not stupid, and not!Tony is probably, at the beginning of the story, more useful to him alive than dead. Maybe he's been trying and failing to poach employees from not!SI or something, employees he really needs for his own research. But that doesn't follow because he basically has poached an employee, under the table.

*ponders* Maybe he approached not!Tony at some party or other about some joint research, and not!Tony was rather intoxicated and blew him off, not realizing how serious--and desperate--he was.

Gah. I don't know. I may have to blow off word count today so I can just sit and think about the thing for awhile.

05:00 pm

With many thanks to the lovely and effulgent ithildyn and bigsciencybrain, I've figured out how to get rid of my dead guy. Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies. And since the scene is in my PI's viewpoint, I can use the magic of handwavium to explain it away, because damned if not!Perry knows nanotech mechanics.

So. At least that problem is taken care of. Now I just need better motivation for my villain to want not!Tony dead before he actually has the reason he has now...