Julie Frost, SFF writer (agilebrit) wrote,
Julie Frost, SFF writer

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Saw the most stupidly infuriating movie last night...

I got "Someone Like You" with my free rental coupon I get once a month from Blockbuster. Hey, Hugh Jackman, right? How bad could it be?

As a rule, I enjoy romantic comedies. They're silly, they're fun, and they make me sniffle in a girly way. And the Hubby likes them for the same reasons, although he claims "no sniffling."

This one just pissed me off.

Okay, you have three main characters, Jane (Ashley Judd), Ray (Greg Kinnear), and Eddie (Hugh Jackman). Ray is the first romantic interest, and Eddie is the womanizing foil to Ray.

The problem is that, when we first meet Ray, he's been in a relationship for three years. Does this faze our heroine? Nope, they start dating on the sly. Strike one: Dating a guy who's in a long-term relationship, before he breaks up with her. This made me hate Jane. And Ray.

I mean, really, what did she expect? A guy who will cheat on his long-time girlfriend with you? Will cheat on you. Duh. How stupid do you have to be to not know that? I hate watching movies with stupid characters who are supposed to be smart.

Then there's Eddie. You know what they say in storytelling: Show, don't tell. He gets painted as an "asshole"...but they never tell us why, not really. Okay, he's a huge man-slut with intimacy issues and relationship-phobia. This is a given. That being said, he's completely honest about who and what he is. He doesn't pretend to be a "good guy" and freely admits that he's in it for the sex. Any woman expecting anything different from him (even after she's been warned) is in for a rude awakening. So, they call him an asshole but never actually show him being one--unless being a man-slut = automatic asshole. Strike two.

See, he's not the one cheating on his long-term girlfriend. He's not the one who starts a relationship with a girl, agrees to get an apartment with her, and then leaves her high and dry after she's given up her place and has nowhere to go. Eddie's the asshole? He's looking for a roommate, and Jane goes ahead and moves in with him. Platonically, of course. She wouldn't touch this "asshole" with a ten-foot pole.

Except, of course, that he's the only one in the movie without an agenda.

Only, this doesn't work in real life. Guys like that always have an agenda. Strike three. I like my escapism to suspend my disbelief, not bludgeon it unconscious and drag it off by its hair. Yes, I get that he was wounded and he's really a big woobie just looking for the right girl and blah blah blah. Whatever, man.

You can all predict where this is going. Eddie comforts Jane (with the aforementioned no-agenda other than, you know, comforting his friend), and she realizes that he's the only guy in her life that's honest and caring and she really loves him and we close on a shot of them kissing on the street and spinning around and I think I'll just go over to the corner and throw up quietly.

The only saving grace to this movie was Shirtless!Hugh. Yeah, I can look at that all day. The man is darn near as old as I am and he has a fine physique. *is shallow* Oh, that, and I didn't actually pay money to see it. Having to pay for it would have really pissed me off.

Note to all women: Even though the "asshole" in most romantic comedies turns out to be the "nice guy" -- this doesn't work in real life. "He'll change for me" hardly ever works, k? The Hubby says that "Any guy can fake it for a year. A year and a half is exceptional. Two years? You've probably seen him as he really is."

In other news, I'm on page seven of my random_urges fic and the couple that's supposed to get together hasn't even spoken to each other yet. *headdesks*
Tags: movies, random urges

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