I've even added booze, to no avail. They've got this whole friendshippy vibe going, which would be fine under normal circumstances...but I'm writing this for someone that I'm pretty sure wanted them as a couple, not just friends. And I'm nearly 5800 words into it, and it's not changing to any extent whatsoever.
I can do one of two things. I can say "Screw it, this is the story that came out of this, sorry they don't even KISS." Or, I can write something new, where the two characters meet in a bar, rail drunkenly against their respective nemeses, and rent a room together. Whether I could get fifteen hundred words out of that particular scenario, in three days, and not have it suck, is an open question.
I'm beginning to hate you. Not only are you giving me this fic in dribs and drabs, you're not giving me what I need for the requirements of this ficathon.
Straighten up and fly right, dammit.
PS: Yes, I realize that you're an anteater and don't "fly" as such. I don't care.