Julie Frost, SFF writer (agilebrit) wrote,
Julie Frost, SFF writer

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*giggles like a madwoman*

Okay, so appomattoxco was hunting around the internet looking for pix of David Boreanaz (a worthy enterprise), and she got a popup ad for...get this... Men With Cramps. She didn't want to click it, but I've never been shy about going where no woman should go, so I gave it a visit.

Bweeheeheheeheheeeeee! I haven't laughed this much in a long time.

First, they have an "epic documentary" about how "male menstrual cramps" (also known as "Cyclical Non-Uterine Dysmenorrhea") have been the "hidden cause behind some of history's most important moments."

Yep, you read that right. "From the cavemen to Michelangelo, from Shakespeare to Lincoln, this film uncovers the fascinating story of those men whose secret monthly agony has shaped our world." O...kay.

But wait! There's more! There's...a clinical trial! With a cute little logo!

Okay, I'm sure all you guys on my flist are wondering: "Am I suffering from this strange malady?" Well, they have a questionnaire. Among the signs of Cyclical Non-Uterine Dysmenorrhea are:
  • A desire to seek relief via direct heat, silence, and darkness, or a sudden increase in cravings for salty foods or chocolate
  • Unexplained fluctuation of BMI or GWB (Body Mass Index and Gross Water Balance)
  • Involuntary loss of interest in pleasurable activities (such as fishing, sports, or handling tools)

*giggles some more*

And let's not forget about the social stigma! "83% of male sufferers who are aware of the true cause of their monthly pains hide it from friends and family for fear of appearing less masculine." The poor babies.

"The fear of being classified as "feminine," "effete," "fey" or "liberal" can also prevent men from seeking the treatment they desperately need." Um, liberal? Someone call John Kerry, stat! I didn't realize that men were afraid of appearing liberal. Or that they were supposed to. Maybe someone should contact CNN as well.

"These men often attempt to tough it out and ignore their symptoms until they get in the way of a desired activity, such as sexual congress, shouting, handling tools, sport fishing, or camping." Shouting? Now, it's been my experience that I get more shouty when I have cramps. Men get less shouty? Maybe they mean "shooting" and it's just an extremely funny typo? Who knows?

And just so we know that this is serious business, yo, they have a Mission Statement: "The institute seeks to provide relief to all sufferers and ultimately seeks to cure CNUD (male cramps). We also wish to de-stigmatize this disorder. We hope to allow sufferers of all nations, races, creeds and income levels to stand up, be counted, and fight back against the crippling pain of CNUD (male cramps)."

Lord, no one tell ginmar or the folks at feminist about this. Because they'll start screeching about male privilege, and how men are trying to co-opt something that should be the exclusive domain of women--AGAIN.

Which would be even funnier...

Okay, yes, I realize that this may be a very clever parody. Whether it is or it isn't, however, it's still freakin' hilarious.

ETA: Okay, I've watched a couple of chapters of this "documentary." It's a parody. But it's a damn fine one. LOL
Tags: funnies

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